I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize