you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
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and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
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I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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