Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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