my mouth tastes like poor choices
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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