My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
