She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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