So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm at about main and main street
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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