So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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