i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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