This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
