OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
