What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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