is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
