I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
