Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
