CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
