this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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