I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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