Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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