I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
