my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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