so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
