Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
