I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Liz is crying about burritos again.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize