I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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