'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just invented taco cereal.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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