Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
