i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
