3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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