i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
