This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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