i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
