they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
