"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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