I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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