Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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