He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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