Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
