I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
