I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
