Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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