last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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