how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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