the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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