She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
