I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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