I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Damn victory sex feels great
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Text me some of your sweat
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
