Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Randomize
