you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
