When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
