i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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