the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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