last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
