I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
