after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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