K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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