Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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