ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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