Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
