"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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