We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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