please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
